Don't ever question me again, you short little fat guy, you.

Ah, my manager has a way with words doesn't he?

 

This to another Manager.

 

Oy flippin' Vey.

A truly great loss...

A clown has died. Not just any clown, not some soulless shill for hamburgers, no mere twister of balloon animals, or amateur juggler in whiteface but a true, soulful, brilliant clown - the Clown known as Sol.

Sol is dead - The sun has truly gone out.

I remember watching Sol on TVO and on the french channel as a kid. I took french immersion so I could understand most of what he said, and it gave me a measure of much-needed pride knowing that no one else in my family understood this bizarre little hobo. I can recall him standing on screen, 3/4's open, picking at his the fingernails of his left hand, a look of despairing incomprehension and bewilderment in his eyes at the follies of those more affluent than him. His weird way of speaking, of emphasizing a word by sticking out his tongue as if for a doctor to check his tonsils.

The guy made french more than just something I was learning in school. He expressed the heart of the language, he brought me to a greater understanding of what a language is, and how powerful it can be when you know how to express yourself. I stand in awe of Sol. Thank you Marc Favreau, Merci bien Monsieur. Je ne peu pas te donne un compliment meilleur que selui-ci "Vous etez un Cloune."

Ils y a plus longe temp que j'ai parlez Francais. Excuse mon epellation, s'ils te plait. Si j'ai besoin de faire un liste de les meilleur clounes en monde, il y a besoin que Sol est presque la premiere. Les autres? Michelle Courtemanche, Bill Irwin, et Jackie Chan. Clounes, totalement.

So, I've often found that francophones don't think the way anglophones do. There seems to be an innate visual quality to the way they think. They can communicate without words better than I could dream. Perhaps it's a result of speaking a language that makes SENSE as opposed to english. Hmm.

Bon Voyage Sol, a bientot mon vieille.

Absence makes the heart...

Come on Gary, I know you've been working since you quit. Bring out a new collection, already!

Length of day is inversely proportional to chocolate consumption

Ewww. Chocolate Consumption. Sweet, brown, tubercular lungs. Ick.

So, I'm finding the more strict I am with my niece and nephews, the better they seem to react. It's weird. I'm normally a pretty easy going guy, but I'm discovering that I do lay down the law rather well.

I do seem to try to reason with a four year old more than I think he can possibly comprehend, ah well. They're great kids. But next time, I'm bringing the Duct tape.

When I put you to bed, you will stay put in bed. (grin)

So, years ago I decided that when I became a father I would get a special belt made. One that goes around my increasingly ample waist several times. That way, I could really say "Don't make me take off my belt! It might take me a while but it don't matter how far you run, I can still git ya!" Well, as a teenager it was funny.

I got a phone call last week at 20 after 7 in the morning. "I'm trying to get the band back together." said an unrecognized voice. My mind fit the pieces together: no introduction, weird-ass time to be calling, cryptic message, close to Christmas= Rob Fidler.

"Alright. When?" I nonchalanted.

See, that's what we do. It doesn't matter where you are or how long it's been since you've last seen one of the 'Good Guys' - you act as though they've been there the whole time. No 'Who is this?' or 'How long has it been?' or anything, just the old casual nod and a "Hey."

'Cause we're that cool.

So, I'm gonna try and get together with the old Comedy Troupe boys on Boxing day for breakfast. Hope it happens, it's been too long. Squirrel Man must fill the skies with his terrible scream once more! We must again be incited to "Be More Specific- Is it a ball or is it a red ball?" ALL HAIL THE BANANA AND DONUT!

Wow, no ones gonna get those references. I think we need to post GGNFL on Wikipedia. Seriously. I think I still have pictures.

Well, Christmas is mere days away and my Asshole Uncle is STILL an Asshole.
And he gets to dress up as Santa this year. Oy vey. Another 'Sermon on the Sleigh' from the Psychotic, abusive, radical Christian that is everyone's favourite elf.

Can't wait.

I miss my girls. A & K & J. Soon I'll miss Betsy too. She's going to get to rest for a while come January. Anna & I are getting a 'new' car. One like the image at top, 'cept in blue. Good little car.
Need to find out what her name is though.

Meanwhile, my Dad's gonna take a good look at Betsy and see whether he can fix the frame or not. Hopefully he can, I don't want to see her go the scrapyard. She's my girl. She's Anna's and my girl. We love her. We anthropomorphize too much, but hey - deal with it.

alright. enough jibbering. A merry whatever to you all, I celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday - enjoy whatever celebrations you have, season's greetings. Peace.

I'm out.

Buster

FUCK.

It's been one of those days. I love walking in and realizing that there are 3 things I absolutely HAD to do before I left last night, and I didn't do any of them.

Imagine if you will...

What does the suicide note of a Hallmark card writer look like?

 

"Let me be the first to offer my condolences on your recent loss."

 

"God never closes a door, without opening a window. Happy landings!"

 

That first one belongs to my wife.

 

Please, suggest your own!

...Fools and Liberals!

So, here's a question. You know those people that shovel their driveways and push the snow right out onto the road? Where do they think that snow is going? Huh? What do they think is going to happen as soon as the plow comes by? Right back into their driveway, that's where it's going. Dumb asses.

I haven't had a lot of time to blog lately. Frankly, I haven't had much time to think lately. If I could blog while I was driving, then boy howdy, I'd have PLENTY to say...

Most of it would be swearing and calling people "stumpy". Sometimes I notice people are driving like the Swedish Chef. I'm not sure how exactly they do it, but it makes me start to yell like an angry Swedish Chef. Like they've got no clue what they're doing as a driver, not in any hurry to get anywhere, "Eh-de-bordy Gerrr! VERdy gurd, ehdy borty,ehdy bort!"

Frickin' idiots. There oughtta be a law.

In fact, I think there should be a separate police force for the 'There oughtta be a laws'. The 'oughtta be a Cops.' They would enforce all the assinine things that annoy us and make us comment that there oughtta be a law about 'people peeling oranges in public' or 'people getting more than just a coffee in the Timmy's drive-through on the way to work' or whatever!

Man, they'd be busy.

So.

Yeah, I think I'm done for now. My darling wife is sakit. I wish there was more I could do for her. She deserves sunshine and light and puppies swimming after sticks. She shouldn't be sick. I miss her.

She deserves elephants and snickles and Gauntlet.

Which reminds me, I have to get the N64 out of the attic, ce soir.

Well, got a few ideas for the old Truth Salad brewing, I'm off!

A rope of sand

Okay, I know not everyone is as computer literate as I am.  But I just had someone who knew how to forward an email, but not how to type in instructions as to which of the 19 attachments he wanted.

 

I don't think he's illiterate. I think he can read. Just... wow.

____________________________________________________

 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuugh!

 

People.

 

Are.

 

Stupid.

_______________________________________________________

It's getting closer and closer to Clocktower Time.

 

You know, when you've finally had enough crap from all the sheeple you deal with and climb the clocktower with a high-powered rifle to 'cull the herd'.

 

Clocktower Time.

_____________________________

Now to brave the malls.  Yeesh.

__________________________

 

Things I hate at the moment.

 

1. Spuh.
2. other drivers
3. work
4. depression
5. network executives
6. responsibility
7. John.  Stamos.

____________________________________

 

I need to leave. I need to go home. I need my home to be clean. I need to go shopping. I need to crawl into bed and not wake up until all the work is done. I need to not feel guilty about unfinished work. I need food. I need acceptance.

 

I need my wife.

Fw: Pssst! Hi!