Sprinkler System, set up in the back! Can you fuckin' BELIEVE it?!!

On tonight's no holds barred episode, we discuss potty talk. Consider yourself warned.

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So as a teen it occurred to me that lots of people pee in the shower. It can be a real timesaver. Then I had my Epissany. We have a 'Shower Massage' showerhead! I could take a dump in here and still wash it down the drain!

Needless to say, I can't recommend it. You'll never feel clean again. All around, brilliant idea in theory, but in practice -Sweet Jesus, what a mess.

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More recently, I was thinking along the same lines again. "What's worse than peeing in the shower?" Obviously, crapping in the shower.

How about peeing in the bath? Worse yet, what if it's not your bath?

Then I got a mental picture of some guy walking into a bathroom while someone's having a bath, they refuse to get out or whatever, so he shrugs, unzips and starts whizzing in their tub.

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Unrelated nonsensical but strangely filthy comment. "Let's just say, she's not afraid to shell her own Etruscan Clam, if you know what I mean." I don't know what it means, probably masturbation, but change one letter in the eighth word and it becomes Prostitution.

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So, I'm at work. It's closing on midnight. I should get some work done.

Crapper John, MD.

"Mention my name, and you'll get a good seat!"